Is change REALLY good?

Sorry I haven't written much lately. Things have been in an uproar around here because Todd and I split up. Yes for good and yes he no longer lives here. I am walking around like a zombie...don't know what to do with myself. He's all I've known for a long time and I feel a little lost. But I know what has happened is what is right and what is best. I just wish I didn't feel so fucking shitty.

Here goes nothin'

So here I am again, most of my shopping is done except for what I am getting my grandparents. They are coming in from West Virginia tomorrow...I am so happy...but what I'm not too thrilled about is the task{s} that lie ahead. This house has to be cleaned from top to bottom. Needless to say, I've been a little slack in that department since I work, hmm around 50 hrs a week at LEAST? So here's what I've done so far: Clean out the freezer. Yup, that's it. Never has my blog name been more fitting. I still have a HUGE list of things to do....and I'm out of coffee!! NOT COOL. Well, it's time to go about my duties and wrap some Christmas presents....

"It's the most wonderful time of the Year...."

So here I am, two weeks left until Christmas, and I have surprisingly got half of my shopping done!!! Now I know what you're thinking...most people are ALREADY done by now, but I'm more of a wait-til-the-last-possible-minute kinda gal. I already got Gracie a Sit N Spin, a little kitchen set, a play cell phone where we can record messages on it, a Cabbage Patch kid {OMG It is sooo cute....it has little top teeth with a gap in them just like hers!} and a few other little things. I am going to finish everything and I mean ALL MY SHOPPING this Wednesday and god help whoever gets in my way...my grandparents will be here in a week and I want this house immaculate, so I HAVE to be done shopping/wrapping/etc. by NEXT Wednesday so I only have to worry with cleaning. It hit me today how cool it is when you go from wanting this or that and making sure your mom/dad/grandparents, etc. knows just how bad you want it, to being a parent and caring less what YOU get, but what your kids get.....it's like being a kid again to me, but more fun cuz I already know what's underneath those ribbons and bows.

Live like you're dying

I just saw this on the net:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312318,00.html
Absolutely heartbreaking....I can't imagine what this man is going through, but I think at this time of year, it's especially important to be thankful for my family and friends and never never take them for granted...any one of us can go at any time...I love Gracie and Todd with all my heart and it scares me to think that they could be taken from me....just makes ya think about saying screw the petty stuff in life and focus on what's important. I think the holidays have truly lost their meaning and it is my goal to make them how they SHOULD be for my family.

Sick baby

Well, my little munchkin has a severe ear infection, on top of the cold she already has...she's downright pitiful. I think she is feeling better now that her meds are starting to kick in. Yesterday she woke up at 4am and and cried and cried as she was trying to fall back asleep laying by me in our bed. I said, okay enough is enough and took her to the doc...let's hope this gets nipped in the bud soon. Anyway, I haven't blogged in a while because I am without a pc at home {I'm at work right now workin' hard, can ya tell?} Well that's all for now folks.

HaPpY hAlLoWeEn!!!!!!!!

What a crazy day. My radiator is busted and my poor Kia is falling apart. Lucky for me, I work at a car dealership and I can get the work done NOW and pay Later.........sah-weet. Gracie had a little Halloween Party at her Moms Day Out school and it was neat-o. All the lil' chitlins got dressed up in their costumes and paraded around the school for us proud parents {camcorders and digicams on hand, of course} .Gracie was BY FAR the cutest {of COURSE she was}. There was 4 OTHER FREAKIN' TINKERBELLS there....she was the "Tink"est in my humble opinion. Then tonight we went trick or treating. Or rather, we pushed Gracie around in her stroller and then Todd and I knocked on about a gazillion doors and said TRICK OR TREAT, while Gracie just sat there {looking cute, of course} Can't say we didn't try though....have been practicing with her to say "Trick or Treat" but she wasn't feelin' it tonight {of course} Well, I am off to bed {hope I can get some sleep with all this sugar running through my veins.....who says the kids have all the fun?} Good night........

This time last year........

Wow. This time last year, we took Gracie to the Greater Gulf State Fair...she slept in her stroller the whole time. Then again, she WAS only three months old. This time around, she is 15 months old and she really wasn't all that impressed. I took her on the Ferris Wheel and Todd took her on these little trucks..she was like yeah,...whatever, when do we eat? HAHA. Oh yeah she DID like the Carousel, though. I just can't believe how big and smart she is. I took lotsa pictures and video'd everything, too. I can't wait til next year so I can see how different she is.

Movin' On Up!

I am so stoked right now. I got a car this week...a 2000 Kia Sephia for 800 bucks! And it actually runs!!! AND....{drumroll, please..........IT'S LEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!} Let's just say I have had one heck of a time with the Alabama DMV and it's a big relief to drive around and not worry about getting pulled. AND.......if you were wondering why I haven't posted lately, my loaner tower bit the dust. That's what happens when you watch too much porn....haha. But now I have a kick ass, SUPER expensive pc. Not because it's the best on the market...but because me and Todd, in all our infinite wisdom, went to a rent-to-own place and are now getting royally screwed. But, I am not going to burst my own bubble....after about six months of still making payments, THEN you can poke fun at me. And I at myself. But for now...I shall marvel in all my cd/dvd burning glory, high-speed internet, and all the porno my little heart desires.

When I get old and sickly, be a dear and pull the plug.

Started my new job-by today. Wasn't half-bad, actually. I work for a company that scans and microfiche medical records and the like. My part in the whole she-bang is prepping the documents. {Remove staples, repair tears, make sure all the record numbers match up, separate, blah blah blah...} Which means that I go through piles and piles of personal information from different doctors offices and hospitals about people all over the state, and even in Mississippi and Louisiana. Those stacks can get pretty thick. I have seen a lot of scary shit today that can go wrong with your body, and god help me....if that happens...someone pull a Dr. Kevorkian.

Baby Suri, eat your heart out!

Seems like just yesterday I was preggo with Gracie. Today I got to thinking how far she's come since she was swaddled in that tiny pink blanket. We walked to the neighbors house today. "We" meaning, me AND Gracie. She was so tickled to go so far by herself, little pink sneakers pounding along the pavement with every step.. It was pretty amusing actually...she kept trying to turn around and go the other way, and go up people's driveways {we live in the burbs}. I am so proud of her and the little person she's becoming. She has the best personality {that is, when her teeth aren't bugging her...she can be a handful then! I swear to God the terrible two's hit her now, at fourteen months old...} People driving by kept smiling at her...can't really blame them, seeing as how she was looking especially adorable in super cute pink camo sunglasses that are somewhat cateye-shaped. She looked like a movie star...

The Rat Race

I hate working and not being home with Gracie. I got used to making us breakfast, watching morning cartoons, and uh...going BACK to sleep....haha. I have gone through 2 jobs already this year and I kinda feel bad. But I cannot afford to stay home. Home Depot is by far the WORST company I have ever worked for....so unorganized, never had enough staff on the schedule....made me work in the garden center in ALABAMA, land of humidity....ugh....and then there was Chris Myers AutoMall. If I had my way, I'd still work there...Here are the reasons why I do not:
1. Daphne is a bit more than a skip and a jump from my home is West Mobile
2. My car's license tag is from NC, and has been expired since...March?
3. My insurance lapsed because I thought that Carmax {the lender on the vehicle} was going to come repossess the P.O.S and I did not see the point in throwing away MORE money on that lemon.
4. The car is a piece of shit that has been in the shop or broken down in which Todd attempted to fix it OVER TWENTY TIMES since I purchased it in March 2006.
5. My starting wage left something to be desired, and therefore I could not justify spending so much gas money and keeping up maintenance on the car just to make it to work...not to mention the ever-threatening risk of going to jail due to no insurance and expired tag.
Need another reason?
It really blows because I am one picky bitch and it is damn near impossible for me to find a job hat I enjoy...and I really liked working in the BDC at the dealership. We did data entry, follow-up calls for the salesmen, made copies...etc. Your basic clerical position. I tried to find something like that here in Mobile, to no avail. So, rat race, here I come. I am so tired of pounding the pavement, getting resumes sent out, pointless interviews...I just a want a fucking job! Is that too much to ask? I have thought about babysitting, cleaning houses/offices...pet sitting...you name it. You would think it's not hard to find clients, but when you live in a town {much less a state} where you can count your friends on one hand...makes it a little difficult. Guess I'ma have to suck it up and go to Mickey Dee's or try my hand at waitressing again. {Gopd help the general public} You're probably thinking, I wish that bitch would stop her sniveling and look on careerbuilder.com, monster.com, craigslist....trust me, been there, done that. I check them regularly and submit applications every day. I have probably done 15 today. I just talked to Todd and he said the loan company wouldn't approve us...so now, not only am I without a job, we are probably going to default on some of our bills, including the rent. What a day....why didn't I stay in bed?

Fresh Meat!

So after careful consideration, I thought I'd try my hand at the whole blogging thing. Not that I have anything interesting to say, or that anyone might even take the time to read my ramblings.....but what the hell. Fuck it right? What else do I have to do? I have found that it's easier to sort out your feelings by writing them down...plus I'm a virgo and I tend to analyze every little thing so...back to justifying what I'm doing here.. Gracie is asleep so this is my free time. Granted, I should be cleaning this pigsty {"Should" being the operative word}
Okay now what? It's funny how the mind works. Five minutes ago, I had tons of ideas floating around in that sad excuse for a brain of mine, and now it's gone blank. Guess I'll start with the basics. I'm Amanda, aka FatBitchwithRedHair. I don't think I'm THAT huge, but my ass is out of this world. Like, it has its own zipcode. Speaking of fat, I seriously need to get motivated to start exercising. You'd think all the motivation I'd need would be riding on 22's. If you don't get it, I ain't tellin' ya ;) Forget eating right...life's too short for that crap. I have no discipline...which is where my blog name came from...remember that song by Silverchair where the lyrics go: "fat boy, wait 'til tomorrow?" Me in a nutshell. I used to look pretty good, but that's before I popped out two kids {yes I am STILL using that as an excuse, mrs. magoo!} I live in a nice, flat neighborhood, I have a stroller, and a kid to sit in it. I really should walk around the 'hood while it's so hot outside and sweat some of this lard off my body.....ahem, anyway {remember what I was saying about me being pro-procrastination?}...I would like to take the time to also tell you about my family. I have a 5 year old named Ivy who lives in NC. Once again, if ya don't get it....don't ask. I have a baby girl named Gracie and she is what keeps me going. She turned one year old in July and has mastered the art of walking a few months ago, and has now proceeded to destroy my house. But that's okay. More about the kiddos later. Trust me, by the tiem it's all said and done you'll be tired of hearing about them. Todd is my significant other. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to find someone who works a steady job, helps me clean, takes the very best care of Gracie.....and then sometimes I wish murder had no consequence. Just kidding. More from the dark, sometimes a little crazy place that is my mind...